How many times a day do you hear the question, “How are you?” and respond automatically with, “I’m fine?”

But let’s be real. How often does “I’m fine” actually mean we’re fine? For many Veterans, it’s easier to say it than to open up about what’s really going on inside. And here’s the thing: Pretending everything’s okay doesn’t make the struggles go away. In fact, it can lead you down a dangerous road—one that could even lead to a crisis or worse.

You don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to take action. Preventing a crisis is possible, and it starts with acknowledging things aren’t always as fine as they seem. Whether it’s stress, anxiety or the weight of life’s challenges, bottling it up won’t make it disappear, it’ll just make it harder to deal with when it all piles up.

Recognizing the warning signs

Here’s the truth: Everyone has their breaking point. But the key to preventing a crisis is to recognize when things are heading in that direction before they get out of hand. So what should you be watching for? Here are some of the common warning signs that might indicate things are taking a turn:

• Feeling sad or depressed most of the time.
• Hopelessness—feeling like there’s no way out.
• Anxiety, agitation, mood swings or sleeplessness.
• Excessive guilt, shame or a sense of failure.
• Rage or anger—feeling out of control.
• Increasing alcohol or drug misuse.
• Losing interest in hobbies, work or relationships.
• Giving away prized possessions, as if you’re preparing for something.

No two people are the same, and no two struggles look the same. That’s why it’s crucial to take a moment and ask yourself, “How am I really doing?” And no matter what the answer is, don’t ignore it.

Veteran Self-Check Assessment: A first step

If you’re unsure of where you stand, VA’s Veterans Self-Check Assessment is a great place to start. It’s free, confidential and takes just about 10 minutes. The assessment helps you identify whether stress or depression might be affecting your well-being, and it gives you clear next steps and resources to start the path toward feeling better. The best part? It’s tailored for Veterans by people who understand what you’re going through.

The Safety Plan: Be prepared, just in case

Now, let’s talk about the Safety Plan. It’s one of those tools that you might not think you need until you do. VA’s Safety Plan app is a personalized guide for when things feel like they’re spiraling. It helps you be prepared if a crisis hits, and it walks you through six essential steps:

• Recognize the warning signs that you’re heading into crisis mode.
• Write down coping strategies you can use on your own.
• Identify healthy distractions—places to go, things to do people to talk to.
• List trusted friends and family you can reach out to when you need support.
• Write down mental health professionals or crisis lines you can contact in a pinch.
• List specific steps to stay safe, like limiting access to harmful items. 

Having a Safety Plan in place isn’t a replacement for professional care, but it’s a smart, practical tool to have at the ready. It can be a lifeline when everything feels overwhelming, helping you take control of the situation before it gets worse.

Don’t stay silent

The reason I’m so passionate about getting this message out is simple: Don’t stay silent. When we keep everything locked inside, we end up following a path of isolation. And that’s dangerous. If you’re struggling, don’t just say, “I’m fine” and leave it at that. Speak up. Share what you’re really feeling because the truth is, that might just be what saves your life.  

Simon & Garfunkel nailed it in their song “The Sound of Silence”: “People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening… and no one dared disturb the sound of silence.”

We’re here to make sure the silence is broken, to make sure Veterans are heard, and to give you the tools you need to stay safe. You’re not alone in this. VA is ready to help, every step of the way.

If you’re feeling like you’re on the edge, reach out. The Veterans Crisis Line is always here to listen and guide you through. And if you’re unsure about where you stand emotionally, take the Self-Check Assessment. It only takes a few minutes, but it could be the first step toward reclaiming your peace of mind.

Remember: You don’t have to wait for things to get worse. The tools are available, and it’s never too early to use them.