For Carers Week, Noriko shares her difficulty adjusting to life in the UK, especially when her son James became ill. With carers support from Rethink Mental Illness, Noriko feels heard and less alone.

I lived half my life in Japan, where I was born, and half in the UK. I met my British husband whilst he was working in Tokyo. We married, had two sons and became a proper family. My sons had loving grandparents, uncles and aunties. When my husband’s work contract expired, we moved to the UK. 

My sons were only toddlers when they had to change their culture, language, food. We felt lost and lonely, losing the casual, warm experiences of my family. It was my son James who bore the brunt of every change we made, without us realising the impact upon him.

James thrived academically, but there was no pastoral care at school. After a year in the UK, my husband lost his job and we lost our first home. He tried several jobs and failed. This led him to form his own business, where I became his unpaid secretary. 

Over the years, my husband slowly became an alcoholic. I attended Al-Anon because he was in denial, and became increasingly lost and lonely. I felt as if I was caught in a jam-jar. Finally, I sought work outside of my husband’s sphere, at a museum, which was a source of comfort.