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The holiday season is often described as a time of joy, celebration and togetherness. But for families who have lost a military or Veteran loved one, the holidays can make grief feel heavier. Instead of comfort, the holidays can bring sharp reminders of the empty seat at the table, the traditions that have changed and the loved one who is no longer here.

The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) understands this deeply. As the nation’s leading organization caring for all those grieving the death of a military or Veteran loved one, TAPS provides comfort, connection and hope to families during the holidays—and every day of the year. No one has to grieve alone.

As a survivor myself, I know how disorienting and overwhelming a loss can be. And with more than 20 years of experience supporting families through grief and trauma, I’ve seen firsthand how deeply a death can affect every member of a family—especially children. When a child loses a parent, their world is forever changed. The holidays, with their traditions and memories, can feel confusing and emotional for them as they try to make sense of the season without the person they love.

That’s why it’s so important for us—as caregivers, friends and members of a supportive community—to create gentle, understanding spaces for grieving children. They need room to express their feelings in their own time and their own way, and to know that every emotion they experience is valid.

It’s also important to remember that children’s grief doesn’t move in a straight line. They may feel deep sadness one moment and genuine joy the next. Moments of laughter or excitement during the holidays do not mean they’ve forgotten their loved one—they are simply part of how children naturally move through grief. Our role is to walk beside them with empathy, honesty and reassurance.

With understanding, compassion and steady support, we can help grieving families—especially their children—find comfort and connection throughout the holiday season.

Here are four key insights TAPS shares for supporting surviving children through the holidays:

1. Be honest: Children are incredibly intuitive about the emotional climate around them. Attempting to mask your own sadness often creates more anxiety than comfort. It is helpful and bonding to share your authentic feelings in an age-appropriate way, and just as important, to gently ask them how they are feeling about the holidays. Open communication validates their experience and strengthens your connection.

2. Encourage expression: We must cultivate an environment where all emotions are welcome—the sadness, the frustration and the joy. Encouraging children to share their thoughts, memories and feelings can alleviate their worries and ensure they do not feel isolated in their grief. This could be through conversation, but also through creative outlets like art, journaling or music.

3. Make a flexible plan: A thoughtful, flexible plan offers both comfort and structure. Discuss the upcoming season with your children and involve them in deciding how they want to celebrate. Acknowledge openly that everyone’s approach to grief may differ, allowing space for individual needs while providing a shared sense of control during a time that often feels uncontrollable.

4. Keep what matters and adapt: While adapting to life without a loved one is necessary, maintaining some familiar traditions provides an essential sense of normalcy and security. Identify which rituals are important to keep and be open to creating new ones that intentionally honor the memory of the service member or Veteran. Whether it is lighting a special candle or volunteering in their honor, these new rituals can become powerful and meaningful anchors.

TAPS remains dedicated to providing comprehensive, specialized care for this community. We offer resources tailored specifically for children and teens, including grief camps and retreats, to help them process their loss alongside peers who truly understand. More tips for supporting children and other survivors can be found on our website.

And, as always, support is available 24/7 through the TAPS National Military Survivor Helpline at 800-959-TAPS (8277) for those who need a helping hand.

This holiday season, let us commit to caring for our military and Veteran children with the same honor, compassion and dedication their loved ones gave to our nation.