"Mom-flict:" Television Relationship Expert Dr. Seth Meyers Helps Adults Improve,,,
...Their Relationship with their Mothers for Mother's Day
/EINPresswire.com/New York, NY - March 22, 2012 -- Mother's Day isn't just about brunches and bouquets. It's also time to reflect on your relationship. For Mother's Day 2012, Dr. Seth Meyers, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, as seen on The Dr. Drew Show, The Doctors, Good Morning America, and The Early Show, shares some insight on common "mom-flicts" and tips on how to resolve them.
"Ideally, the mother/adult child relationship is defined by a mutual respect and acceptance. But for many, this isn't the case," says Dr. Seth. There are several types of mother-adult child relationships that can result in "mom-flicts":
• COMPETITORS: some grown children play out a life-long power struggle with their mothers, constantly seeking the approval of the other but never getting it. Both mother and grown child feel frustrated and misunderstood. Neither wants to believe that they are competitive and will often see the other as the guilty culprit.
• STUCK IN THE PAST: the grown child and mother maintain the same dynamic as during childhood. The mother continues to be overprotective, while the grown child obeys her and avoids confrontation. Romantic partners are often resentful, frustrated with the mother for overstepping her boundaries and with their partner for not standing up to her. This is a "three-person couple."
• CODEPENDANTS: an invisible umbilical cord still connects mother and adult child, where daily phone calls, emails, and text messages define communication. Though the relationship looks close, it's often unhealthy, with secret resentments and fears.
• THE FREEZER: there's little to no emotional connection. Mother and child feel obligation, but neither shares any meaningful or intimate details about their personal lives. There is usually a personality mismatch, where neither would likely be interested in having a relationship if not biologically related.
To resolve common "mom-flicts" that may stem from these types of relationships, Dr. Seth offers easy tips for instant relationship repair. Dr. Seth's first tip is to show appreciation by "investing in the relationship like a Roth IRA," says Dr. Seth. "You can't repair it without regular and consistent effort - even a five-minute phone call with realistic frequency, once a week to twice a month."
Dr. Seth also recommends "Random Reach-Outs - surprise calls or spur of the moment drop-bys" and "Dating Your Mom - planning an activity for the two of you to spend quality alone time without the distractions of significant others or kids." In addition, small gestures - like making a significant effort on mom's birthday with a "Care Package", or sending mom an old happy family photo of the two of you - will make a big impact.
For his next tip, Dr. Seth recommends that the adult child directly communicate the desire to improve the relationship either verbally or by written note. "I find a Quid Pro Quo method, where mother and child each pick one behavior they're willing to change and make it a friendly competition, to see who can actually follow through on their word," says Dr. Seth.
Dr. Seth's last piece of advice is to keep expectations realistic. "Mind your mantra's with your mamma - put a stop to inevitable tension by coming up with one or two sentences designed to calm rising anger," says Dr. Seth. He suggests making a Gratitude List for Mom , and using Pavlov's Dog Rule - when tension arises, deal with it while the problem behavior is happening - not after - to stop it and redirect it.
For more information on this topic or to learn more about Dr. Seth, Meyers, please visit www.drsethrelationshipexpert.com.
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/EINPresswire.com/New York, NY - March 22, 2012 -- Mother's Day isn't just about brunches and bouquets. It's also time to reflect on your relationship. For Mother's Day 2012, Dr. Seth Meyers, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, as seen on The Dr. Drew Show, The Doctors, Good Morning America, and The Early Show, shares some insight on common "mom-flicts" and tips on how to resolve them.
"Ideally, the mother/adult child relationship is defined by a mutual respect and acceptance. But for many, this isn't the case," says Dr. Seth. There are several types of mother-adult child relationships that can result in "mom-flicts":
• COMPETITORS: some grown children play out a life-long power struggle with their mothers, constantly seeking the approval of the other but never getting it. Both mother and grown child feel frustrated and misunderstood. Neither wants to believe that they are competitive and will often see the other as the guilty culprit.
• STUCK IN THE PAST: the grown child and mother maintain the same dynamic as during childhood. The mother continues to be overprotective, while the grown child obeys her and avoids confrontation. Romantic partners are often resentful, frustrated with the mother for overstepping her boundaries and with their partner for not standing up to her. This is a "three-person couple."
• CODEPENDANTS: an invisible umbilical cord still connects mother and adult child, where daily phone calls, emails, and text messages define communication. Though the relationship looks close, it's often unhealthy, with secret resentments and fears.
• THE FREEZER: there's little to no emotional connection. Mother and child feel obligation, but neither shares any meaningful or intimate details about their personal lives. There is usually a personality mismatch, where neither would likely be interested in having a relationship if not biologically related.
To resolve common "mom-flicts" that may stem from these types of relationships, Dr. Seth offers easy tips for instant relationship repair. Dr. Seth's first tip is to show appreciation by "investing in the relationship like a Roth IRA," says Dr. Seth. "You can't repair it without regular and consistent effort - even a five-minute phone call with realistic frequency, once a week to twice a month."
Dr. Seth also recommends "Random Reach-Outs - surprise calls or spur of the moment drop-bys" and "Dating Your Mom - planning an activity for the two of you to spend quality alone time without the distractions of significant others or kids." In addition, small gestures - like making a significant effort on mom's birthday with a "Care Package", or sending mom an old happy family photo of the two of you - will make a big impact.
For his next tip, Dr. Seth recommends that the adult child directly communicate the desire to improve the relationship either verbally or by written note. "I find a Quid Pro Quo method, where mother and child each pick one behavior they're willing to change and make it a friendly competition, to see who can actually follow through on their word," says Dr. Seth.
Dr. Seth's last piece of advice is to keep expectations realistic. "Mind your mantra's with your mamma - put a stop to inevitable tension by coming up with one or two sentences designed to calm rising anger," says Dr. Seth. He suggests making a Gratitude List for Mom , and using Pavlov's Dog Rule - when tension arises, deal with it while the problem behavior is happening - not after - to stop it and redirect it.
For more information on this topic or to learn more about Dr. Seth, Meyers, please visit www.drsethrelationshipexpert.com.
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