I had so much time to think and it became obvious that it’s something I've been neglecting for years. 

Then my mental health got worse after the challenge. I’d bigged up those marathons so much that, once they was over, I had nothing to hide me from my negative thoughts any more. 

And so I spiraled into a thought pattern of, ‘I’m never going to not feel like this’ and ‘what am I trying to not feel like?’ and ‘why am I trying to be something else?’ and  ‘what's really bothering you?’.

All these thoughts attacked the ‘I’m all good’ walls I’d built around me for years and I no longer had the energy to keep them up. 

Luckily, in my job as a personal trainer back then, I opened up to someone I was working with about the thoughts I was feeling. And together we agreed I needed to talk to someone – quick sharp!

I thought I had the tools to fix any problem in my mind. Going to therapy has shown me I didn’t, but it’s helped me gather new tools to manage my mental health. 

Speaking to that person in my gym, sharing what I was thinking to a human being, changed my life. And Rethink Mental Illness has a fantastic set of peer support groups all over the country that allow people to do what I did – share what they’re going through with likeminded people. It’s a crucial service. 

That’s why this 100 marathons in 100 days fundraiser has come about. I feel like I’m in a good place right now and I want to take on an even bigger challenge for a charity that does such great work. I want to push myself and have an adventure. 

I want to show people, no matter how cliché it sounds these days, that being prepared to be vulnerable about your mental health, to the right people, can improve your life. You don’t have to fix everything on your own.